Good newspaper

Saw this story published on The Independent in London:

A 19-year-old boy played a prank on his friend while camping by putting superglue on his face. When the kid woke up his eye was glued shut - in fairness, on a camping trip with another boy he was probably relieved to find it was glue and not .....
And why would he take superglue on a camping trip anyway?
To do a collage of the homosexual union the two of them will indulge in but will agree never to mention again?